Sunday, Sweet Sunday

Sometimes I think I could be the best teacher in the world if I didn't actually have to show up every day at work, but just had more time to plan and get organized to the max. Just like I could get this homeowner/yard maven/chef thing down pat if I wasn't always so exhausted all the time from work! It's when it all falls together that it all starts to fall apart. Did I cope with more on my plate better when I was younger? Or did I just not know any better and thought I did? At any rate, I am obsessing about school, working on year-long poetry notebooks that I have wanted to do for years. I am also going through my recipes whenever I sit down to watch TV or veg, because I know that when school starts, I will eat crap if I haven't already made the plans and bought the food to treat myself better. I am hyperorganizing (is that even a word?) like crazy because I am always worried that maybe this time I won't be able to pull it off - to do it all. Has life gotten harder, my abilities to multitask diminished, or are my expectations just too high for my 56 year old self? All I know is that I need to feel as if I am doing the best that I can at everything I care about, but it surely takes more effort!