Lucy and Ethel

The pretty girl to my left in the photo is my friend Susan. We met in 1962 at Greenfield Junior High School in Pittsburgh. Susan only attended public school that one year - she had just moved back to the neighborhood and the class at St. Rosalia's was just too big in eighth grade that particular year. Susan lived just up a steep hill above me (everything in Greenfield was up a steep hill.) We became best friends that year - right down to having a crush on the same boy - Billy Sopira. We crept past his house every time we went for a walk - just on the chance we might spy him through the window. Luckily - he barely knew we existed so it wasn't a threat to our friendship. Even when Susan went to St. R's for high school the next year we remained tighter than tight - we spent most Friday nights at her house or mine, watching I Spy or trying to learn the latest dance steps. Going to college didn't break the bond - of course we both applied to Clarion and roomed together. I spent more nights talking to Susan in the dark than I ever have with a man (the key word being talking!)

I married right after graduation in 1972- Susan loved me enough to serve as my maid of honor in a blue gingham dress with a dotted swiss apron and a ring of daisies in her hair- very early 70's. I asked her to be my firstborn's godmother. Even when we lived "close" we had at least an hour drive. She listened patiently when I needed to vent about the many complaints of a shaky marriage - I did the same about the lamer guys she dated over the years. When I moved to California in 1989, Susan and I had the funniest Lucy and Ethel visits of all. Getting lost in San Francisco (more than once), lying in a hotel room debating the merits of Hershey's milk chocolate versus Nestle's, taping my window of my van with duct tape in the 100+ heat and having to fix it at every stop light, losing the car in Carmel - we have done it all.



Susan got married for the first time at the age of 46 - and he was worth waiting for. I, on the other hand had a 30 year marriage fall apart shortly after. I started listening to marriage stories - she to dating ones. Whenever anything significant has happened in my life - from losing my virginity, getting pregnant (not at the same time!), my husband leaving me, meeting Jim, -Susan is the first one to know. We have laughed more than we have cried together over the years. I am happy that she has Glenn - he knows just how special she is. I ache being so far apart from my friend some days, as we both get older and have significant health issues - she has been the constant in my life for so many years. I wish she really did live next door - or even up that steep hill again. But I am so grateful to have had her in my life for so many years. She will always be there for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my friend.

Sunday, Sweet Sunday

Sometimes I think I could be the best teacher in the world if I didn't actually have to show up every day at work, but just had more time to plan and get organized to the max. Just like I could get this homeowner/yard maven/chef thing down pat if I wasn't always so exhausted all the time from work! It's when it all falls together that it all starts to fall apart. Did I cope with more on my plate better when I was younger? Or did I just not know any better and thought I did? At any rate, I am obsessing about school, working on year-long poetry notebooks that I have wanted to do for years. I am also going through my recipes whenever I sit down to watch TV or veg, because I know that when school starts, I will eat crap if I haven't already made the plans and bought the food to treat myself better. I am hyperorganizing (is that even a word?) like crazy because I am always worried that maybe this time I won't be able to pull it off - to do it all. Has life gotten harder, my abilities to multitask diminished, or are my expectations just too high for my 56 year old self? All I know is that I need to feel as if I am doing the best that I can at everything I care about, but it surely takes more effort!

Last day till Weekend

Horrors. What posessed me to put a countdown ticker on my classroom website? Now (since I have been working on it prodigeously) every time I log on I see the days of vacation trickle away.

My school starts in 24 days!

Actually - I have been merrily shopping back to school sales, picking up gluesticks at Walmart, colored pencils at Target, folders at Officemax and crayons at Office Depot. Waiting breathlessly for the Sunday ads - will this be the week that pencil boxes go on sale? I love the going back to school mode - just hate the going back to work one.

However - I found a list of my new students online. I have been saying their names aloud, trying to get my tongue used to Shawn'Teena and Cameron, hoping I will like them (and they will like me). I wonder if they are watching the days of summer speed by and both dreading the start of school and also being so excited they already can't get to sleep. They are probably also scouting out school supplies at Walmart, finding Dora, Strawberry Shortcake and Transformers on their backpacks the same way I am scouting out the aisles of my favorite teacher store. I hope we can all enjoy the heck out of the lazy days of summer - we will meet soon enough.

My Kids

I have three boys. I am the sort of mom who loved every minute of my pregnancies (OK - no one enjoys every minute!), loved their infancy, toddlerhood was just a blur (thank God). When my boys were school age, I did it all - Cub Scout leader, room mom, Sunday School teacher, PTA president, band booster extrordinaire - made all of their birthday cakes and most of their Halloween costumes. I taught fulltime before Rob's birth - then went on a maternity leave that somehow stretched from 1976-1991. Clearly, I have enjoyed every moment of being a mom.

I suffered severe pangs when Rob went to college in in L.A. 1994 and Randy followed him 3 years later. Ryan stayed with me a little longer, but when he left the nest, it was for another WOMAN! :) The woman I knew as mom was losing her raison d'etre.

Well, a few years down the line - what I have discovered is that the best years of being a mom are right now. My boys are wickedly funny - smart and good looking. I enjoy being around them more all the time. I look to them for advice - from things technical to things careerwise. Ryan has given me my first daughter (in law, but that's just a formality). Lisa is my shopping buddy - we share a love of makeup and all things girlie. Rob is giving us Katie in December - can't wait to welcome her into our family! Katie is a doctor - smart, pretty - and the best part about her is that she loves my son even more than I do. They all have so much going in the right direction. I am proud of them all - my 3 sons and 2 daughters. (and Randy is a real catch if anyone knows a nice girl.) Grownup kids are wonderfully, surprisingly the best (but I can't WAIT for grandchildren!)

New Week, New Diet

Don't laugh (I almost waited until next Monday because it would have been July 1st - but then decided that I was ready TODAY)

I found some software that allows me to track my progress, journal food, measurements, weight, daily moods, alomost every thing except bodily functions (probably has that, too, just haven't found it yet) It's called Fit Day. I smile at how I feel as if this is going to be the boost I need (every time) I have spent more of my life thinking about dieting, thinking about my next diet, thinking about food, thinking about my weight than I care to admit. For those who don't know - I lost a bunch of weight while going through my divorce - but magically, when life settled down to happiness found it (plus a little extra for good measure.) Enough already!!

I am a good person. I am not my weight. I am attractive, funny, smart, kind, happy (about everything but my freaking weight!) So - - - here we are again. I am always optimistic. Life is too short to be unhappy about anything you have control over. More later.

Father's Day, 2007

It is a nice quiet day at home here. Catching up on the wash, cleaning out the office, finding a place for all the school "stuff" that I toted home Thursday. My kids are going to their Dad's today. I hope that it is a good day for him - he is a good dad (better dad than husband, but we won't go there!)

I've been thinking about dads a lot lately. My XH's dad died last month at the age of 88. He was ready - was just a shell of himself, faded fast. I went to the hospital to see him one last time. I don't think he knew I was there, but it made me feel better. At his memorial, XH gave a nice tribute to him, said that his dad knew how to do everything. (I agree) He was a good guy.

My dad has been gone almost 21 years now. That is hard to believe. If Bob's dad knew everything, mine taught him everything he knew. The man could remodel houses, fix cars, refinish furniture, grew beautiuful roses and wonderful tomatoes. Of the five of us kids - 3 boys and 2 girls, my older sister is the one who seems to have inherited my dad's genes. She is my go-to person for advice on all things needing fixing these days.

My kids are lucky to have their dad still here and involved in their lives. He is their go-to guy when they have car issues, the disposal doesn't work, or something needs fixed. Wishing them many more years of that comfort - a dad who knows everything.

Sunday before Summer

I am JAZZED! Only four days left in the school year. I took my coffee and paper out on the patio this morning and thought about how close those 8 precious weeks are. This has been a hard year in the classroom - they come to all of us here and there - something in the water that year. I had (have) a class of mostly boys and the energy level is off the charts. I love the cozy, nurturing, easy loving part of teaching 6 year olds - but this year I felt as if I could never let my guard down with them. They seized on such moments and ran with them (along with several subs who would not return to my classroom.)

Since I have found myself a singleton a few years back and realized that I would be working well into my twilight years, I have been grateful that I love my job and the kids. It has always been a joy (the classroom part - not the paperwork/district/administrative side of it). I have felt (since I came back to the teaching fold later in life in my mid-forties) that my attitude in the classroom was better than it might have been if I'd been doing it steadily since graduating from Clarion State Teacher's College in 1972. After this year - I am hoping that it was just that - a tough year. No more, no less. I am hoping that next year's class will let me be my warm and Mama Bear self - and I am exceedingly grateful that school is almost over.

Monday in May

Well, this experiment in blogging seems to have gone the way of a lot of things in my life. How much unfinished business do I have right now? (not counting diets!) Off the top of my head -

• knitting that was to have been part of LAST CHRISTMAS'S gifts
• family recipe books that need to be finished (Again, last Christmas!)
• finish painting the trim in my house (if I wait long enough, I will have to start again with the walls)
• paperwork, paperwork, paperwork
• Jewelry making - bought supplies - did some - when do I return to it?
• several books

And I can get sidetracked so easily. Reading Rob's blog makes me want to read the Don DeLilo book he talks about. I have pots for my patio that I need to finish painting. Then the plants for the pots. Bought an ipod and have been a music loading fool for two weeks. I feel as if I have the grownup version of ADHD - just like the manic little boys in my class that can't focus longer than 3 minutes at a time. And I have this urge to do as much as I can because I am 56 - can't fiddle around forever here - I have to finish SOME things in my lifetime!

Thoughts on a Sunday

I've been feeling rather funkish for a week or so - fell in the rain at work and put my back severely out. I've gone to a chiropractor (a first for me) and haven't figured out if it is getting better or worse. However - what it has shown me - in brilliant technicolor - is that my body is not young any more. Geesh, I thought it was just the gray hair that showed my age! Got me to obsessing about what kind of an old person I'll be. (Hope that I will be the same as the middle ager I am now - I think I'm fairly cool!) I feel like the same person I was in college- just smarter. (If my life experiences didn't make me smarter, I'd be worried!)

Ryan and I went out to breakfast this morning after church - our little joke is that he and Lisa are going to have to take me in some day. I told him he better get his butt back in school, because I sure wasn't getting younger! Hope I can be a nice old lady some day that my kids could actually see living with me without going crazy (Yes, I really am joking about that - no plans to move in soon)

Starbucks Tuesday

If you are wondering at the title - I make a bargain with myself - the first workday of the week, I get to go through the drivethrough to encourage myself to get out of the door on time. On the first morning, I am so reluctant to let go of the weekend that I feel as if my feet are glued to my kitchen floor. I have to decide on what to wear the night before, because I would never be able to reach a decision if I left it to myself on a typical Monday morning.

On the last workday of the week, I allow myself a latte because I have made it through another week without disaster. (Usually) I live for weekends. Weekends used to mean soccer games, baseball cookouts, sleepovers for five 11 year old boys. But now weekends are all for me. DSJ is over, we sleep in a bit, we drink a few glasses of wine, cook together and listen to music. I try to get some of the chores done on weeknights, so that I can relish all of my Friday evening to Sunday afternoon bliss. After dinner Sunday - reality kicks in. Time to pick out another work outfit for another reluctant Monday. Five more wakeups - and it will be time to celebrate another week over. ANd BTW - I do like my job. A lot. I just like my time more.

Restful Sunday

There is nothing I like more than Sunday (when I have Monday off, that is) The house is clean, the kids come over, I can stay up as late as I want (even 10:00 if I feel up to it) and sleep in tomorrow. And my sweetheart has tomorrow off, too (from now on he will be known as DSJ, for Dear Sweet Jim) so that makes it perfect. I am making lasagna for dinner, doubling the recipe in fact, so that ALL will have leftovers, Jim, RyanandLisa, and Randy and me. My recipe is one that I have modified a bit from one that I got from my best friend Susan ( a non-cook if there ever was one - so you know if she makes it, it is easy and GOOD)

Franco's Lighter Lasagna
(originally from Franco Harris (remember him? 70s Steelers?) lightened up by me.)

3 cloves garlic, chopped
3/4 lb. lean hamburger
48 oz. crushed tomatoes
1 onion, chopped
6 oz. tomato paste
6 oz. water
1 t oregano
1 t basil
1/4 C red wine
1 t sugar
8 oz. uncooked lasagna noodles
15 oz. red.fat ricotta cheese
1 carrot. chopped
1 C mushrooms. sliced
1 green pepper, chopped
2 zucchini, sliced
8 oz. skim milk mozzerella

Pre-heat oven to 350. Spray 9x13 pan with PAM.

Chop garlic fine and saute - add beef and brown. Add tomatoes, paste, water and all seasonings. Cook at simmer for about 1 hour.

Put 1/3 of meat sauce in pan, a layer of noodles, 1/2 of ricotta, 1/2 of veggies and mozzerella. Repeat, ending with sauce. (I actually put veggies in food processor because Ryan would have a pile of vegetables on the side of his plate - he gets that from his other parent!)

Cover pan with foil and bake 1 1/4 hours. Let stand 10 minutes to firm up before cutting. (1/8 pan has 7 WW points)