Christmas Day

Happy. Warm. Laughter. Family. All of the above are what make this day precious to me. Skyping with Rob and Katie. Cooking and eating a big family breakfast with Ryan and Lisa. Cooking a big beef roast with Jim. Cuddling in a quiet house with the animals. Have I mentioned how blessed my life is? Does it show how much happier I look than a year ago? Five months out - 89 pounds gone.

All I Want for Christmas

I think I already have it. Peace in my life. Love. Laughter. My one wish for myself is that my health continues to improve. It is not at all connected to the size of my clothes, but the ease that I have gotten in getting through my days and feeling as if I have something left at the end of it. Food is not worth giving up that feeling. My wishes for others? Rob and Katie: Happiness in the new house and all the "firsts" that are coming their way. Randy: Patience and love. Ryan and Lisa: Patience and hope. Jim: Knowing how much you are loved. Relaxation and good times each and every day. Susan and Glenn: Good health and happiness. Jan: Good days with family. I am five months our from surgery and 86 pounds lighter. Good times!

I'm Thankful for . . .

I have so many, many things in my life that make it good - a week off from work, enough energy to enjoy it, my family, Jim, my sweet pets, my friends - real-life AND cyber, my warm home, my job (most days I love it), a wonderfully sweet class this year, AND 81 pounds gone!!!

Eating Out

Well, I survived a weekend away. I went to Los Angeles for the weekend to see my son and daughter-in-law and see USC get bushwacked by Stanford. It meant eating in restaurants all weekend. Actually it went well. I ordered some soup and a side of spinach the first night, and shared a few bites of Jim's steak. Breakfast was cottage cheese and chicken sausage one morning and a scrambled egg and bacon and fruit the other. Lunch on game day was the trickiest - but I prepared by bringing a string cheese and a protein bar with me. Saturday's dinner was two appetizers - 3 meatballs and a small salad (perfect for a tiny tummy!) I was pleased at my choices. I was even more pleased at how well I coped with all the walking and the steep climb into the coliseum - that alone would have killed me pre-surgery. 73 pounds = big difference!

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Most mornings lately, I stand in front of my closet and try to decide what might fit today. Many mornings, I change clothes at least twice. A nice problem, to find that you are shrinking! I am rediscovering some old favorites. It would be nice if the weight came off in all areas equally, but I will take any loss that comes my way - no complaints here. Feeling great - down 62 pounds.

Esther (Williams) Hart

Well - I'm closing in on three months past and I have a real victory to report. As some of you know, moving my body (by choice) has never been my strong suit. I own and use (very begrudgingly) a treadmill. Let's just say that I am still waiting for the endorphin rush. Anyhow, two weeks ago I (re)joined a local woman's gym. I have been going to a water cardio class - an hour of fun that lets me forget how hard it is. I hope that my enthusiasm stays afloat. (pun intended) 57 pounds (who-whoo!)

Gone country.

God is great. Life (beer) is good. People are crazy. Don't worry about my sobriety - I'm just another country music fan. My daddy would laugh. 8 weeks tomorrow - 41 pounds. (Hey, life IS good!)

Busy, busy

School has been incredibly time consuming lately. Thursday night was the first time I walked out of the classroom with just my purse. (Granted, I left at 6:00) The paperwork is just awful lately. The next person who I hear making a smart comment about how easy teachers have it is going to get duked out by me. The incredible thing is that I have the energy to keep up with the pace. I am again on my feet much of the day, my knees feel 100% better. I feel like a new person. And I know it is just going to get better. 7 weeks --> 35 pounds.

One month surgeversary

I am finally getting my mojo back. I started school last week, and felt better than I had in a long while. Meals are becoming just part of my day. No more important than going to bed or brushing my teeth. I have been craving vegetables. Cherry tomatoes,spinach, broccoli, romaine. My doc gets you into "real food" at a faster pace than some, but it seems to be suiting me just fine. I am loving the way I stretch out my food dollar - thank God for Gladware and freezers. 32 pounds

Three Weeks Out

I had a great visit to the coast last week. Food was pretty much a non-issue. Jim and I usually carefully consider where we are going to eat. We like to make it seem special. This time I just wanted the peacefullness of being there before the onslaught of school hits. I brought my cooler with emergency food, but actually found good choices to eat most meals out. I can live with this change in my life - just need to make the choice.

I've already "retired" one pair of pants that I wore to work last year to only wear at home status. Three weeks, 20 pounds.

Back to Work (sort of)

Today made my two weeks surgeversary. I am feeling better every day. This week I got to add several new and exciting foods to my diet. Ground meat or turkey, some vegetables, peaches or pears, cheese. My very first meal on this new phase is a dish I've been making for over 20 years. I found it in a newspaper, but lightened it up.

Spinach Casserole
by Marilyn (My all-time favorite lunch for taking to work!)

1/2 c egg substitute
4 T flour
10 oz chopped spinach, frozen, thawed
1 1/2 c. (12 oz) low-fat cottage cheese
1 1/2 c reduced fat cheddar cheese. shredded


Preheat oven to 350.

Mix all ingredients well. Pour into 8 in square pan sprayed w/ Pam. Bake one hour. Makes 4 servings (or 12 if you just had WLS) LOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comfort food. I went to a training for school today. Hence the title. Back for real next week. My principal remarked how good my face looked. I thought it was looking much thinner myself! Very astute lady!

Slow it down

One of the biggest things that I have had to be mindful of this week with experimenting with solid foods is to eat sloowwly. It is very important to take small bites and chew, chew, chew. It can take you 1/2 hour to eat a couple of tablespoons of cottage cheese and 3 or 4 slices of banana. Which should make it really interesting when I go back to work in a week and a half and get a 35 minute lunch. Let's see - do I use the bathroom or check my mailbox? Oh, wait, at the start of first grade, half of your lunch is spent walking them all the way into the cafeteria, showing them how to carry their tray, dealing with the cryer who wants to go home (trust me, there's always at least one.) Then maybe having time to eat yourself. Whew, maybe I need to start eating while I'm walking my kids out.

Wow, and I was trying really hard to block that all out! Anyways, I learned the hard way when I ate a little bit of egg salad a little too fast. It felt like it was stuck and just was like a brick in my new tiny stomach - a very uncomfortable feeling. So - I am really taking this slow food thing seriously. The upside is that the slower you eat, the better things taste. You really notice how sweet and creamy those banana slices are. Cream of wheat is really good - very creamy, a little gritty. Yogurt has a sweet taste followed by that tangy aftertaste. Maybe adding a few new foods a week and eating them slowly will give me the gift of rediscovering how good some of them taste. What a gift!

With apologies to Kraft Foods

I never want to eat plain, sf jello again - but wait .... I don't have to! I went to my doctor today for my 1st week post-op visit and got some exciting new food choices. I'm officially on "soft foods" which includes such things as cottage cheese, yogurt, applesauce, banana, real soup (yahoo!!) such as split pea and lentil (for protein), cream of wheat - there just aren't enough meals in the week to honor them all. Especially when you are eating 1/4 to 1/3 cup at a meal. But amazingly - that's enough.

Other than tiring easily, you'd never know that I had major surgery a week ago. I feel great - my body is moving so much easier - my stiffness and arthritis seem to have taken a giant step back.

So - curious to know what I had for lunch? Cottage cheese and a few banana slices mushed up with a drizzle of sf Toriani coconut syrup. Wonderful!

There's always room for Jello

3 days post-op. Jello is just not my favorite food - I've gotta remind myself to eat. According to my nutritionist, it's extremely important to get three meals. When you are not particularly hungry, you kind of have to remind yourself that it is time for sf jello, vegetable broth and a sf popsicle (my lunch) Oh, well, I always wanted to be that girl who had to remind herself to eat!

I've been surfing the net and have found a few people who have worked on getting WLS meals that are appealing and fun. (after the clear liquid stage, of course!

Here is one of the best. She is 2 1/2 yrs out from surgery and is quite the cook. It is great to know that I can still enjoy food - after all, it has been a big part of my life!

I am feeling terrific. A little sore, but not in pain. I figured out how to get into a sleeping position that I could live with last night. Can't do pressure on my stomach, and I hate sleeping on my back. I discovered that a pillow against my abdomen helps a lot. I am walking on the treadmill every couple of hours - not burning it up, but moving. I'm getting there

A New Day

Yesterday was a loonng day! It seemed like a very long day from getting up at 5 till surgery at 10:00. Then -suddenly it was 2:00! Everything went really well. I am feeling better than I expected this morning. Walking is getting better each time I try. I'm looking forward to seeing what flavor jello is on my tray this morning (really wishing for red - last night was orange) I am so thankful that all went well and to have so many, many friends and family praying for me. Not much to report from the hospital - think I'll just go back to Facebook!

The Last Supper

OK, don't get all over me for being sacriligeous. Tomorrow (The Day Before Surgery) is all about liquids. I bought my broth, Crystal Light, SF Jello to prepare for The First Week. Not really sure how long it will be until Real Food is in my grocery cart again (in teeny tiny quantities) My surgeon tells you as much as you need to know at the time (it IS a little information overload at times) But this week and especially today is about eating food that I will miss until we meet again. Actually, I found that it is pretty healthy stuff. This morning I had my ceremonial Last Starbuck's Run. (Had a grande iced skinny vanilla latte and a LF apple bran muffin. Fresh peach and some grapes for lunch. Dinner tonight is grilled flank steak, fresh green beans (I've been craving fresh fruit and fresh veggies all week) and roasted new potatoes drizzled w olive oil and herbs. Maybe a ceremonial Last Glass of Red Wine. I was doing really good till I got to that - but it's heart healthy, right? We've had a good run, but I am so looking forward to this next part of my life.

Sleepless in Fresno

Tom Hanks would identify with me. I'm not so much nervous as feeling wired. It's as if the first day of school was looming (although that will be here soon too) Less than a week to all liquids - all the time. I start that a day before surgery to prep. Less than a week to eat what I want, when I want it. Interestingly, I have had few cravings, no urges to carb load. I told Jim I'd like to go out for breakfast - my favorite meal to eat out. Last week, I went to a support group run by my surgeon's office. They showed a video of an actual bypass surgery. I was actually really fascinated by seeing what will be happening to me. It made it a lot more understandable than reading about it (even Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies) All that's left is to go to some pre-ops and stock up on broth and Crystal Light. Five days and counting.

My Body, My Self

Isn't that the title of a book? Anyways, it all started in December. I came home from the seminar jazzed, ready to read, go online, get started with getting healthy. I had a fitful night's sleep, due (I thought) mostly because of an active brain and the 19th being the last day of school before vacation. I had a weird dull pain in my lower abdomen which worsened as the day wore on. I barely made it through an afternoon party when I realized that something was very wrong. After calling my doctor, my son took me to the ER and I spent the next four days in the hospital with diverticulitis. I spent the rest of December getting well. January, February came and went. I had a list of a battery of tests that I had to complete or get records from. Let's see if I remember them all. Yearly exam and blood work, PAP, mammogram, colonoscopy, upper endoscopy, stress test and echocardiogram, angiogram (when the stress results seemed questionable), psychological evaluation (I was beginning to doubt my sanity by this time myself), visits with the surgeon, nutritionist, more with the surgeon, counseling sessions (both pre and post-op) and - just for good measure, a bout with pneumonia in April. I have seen nine different medical professionals (just counting those I made appointments with)

The good news - I am, surprisingly, in pretty good shape for someone with as many health issues as I have. If I take good care of myself and lose this weight once and for all, I will probably have many healthy years ahead. What wonderful news!! I feel as if I was waiting for the other shoe to drop during this long process of getting approval. Now, full steam ahead!!

Year of Change

I got some exciting news today. I am scheduled for surgery on July 20. I have spent months getting tested, prodded, pricked and (finally) approved for gastric bypass surgery. I took my time. It is a huge decision. It is going to save my life.

When Rob and Katie got married in December 2007, I finally realized how much my out of control weight gain was controlling my life. The traveling was brutal. There were six of us traveling. When we missed a very tight connection in Las Vegas (of course I felt as if it were my fault) and I almost passed out gasping for breath I could feel my life changing. When it became almost routine to ask for the seatbelt extender, I felt like I didn't know who this person was. The last two years at school have been a blur. I had a couple of my best years of teaching, but they took everyting I had and then some. I have ended each day sitting at my table in the classroom in the dark - trying to find the energy to walk out to the car. I have been overwhelmed by life.

One of my teacher friends started looking into Weight Loss Surgery and I started asking questions. On December 18 2008 I went to a seminar to get some information. What started out as a "do it with my buddy" thing has truned into a solo effort. My friend is a woman of deep faith. She was hitting some roadblocks in the process, and after much prayer decided that God was probably telling her that this was not the right time for this. I'm pretty sure that God was providing me with a companion to hold my hand and give me the strength to find my way without fear to better health. So far, the road has been a little bumpy, but exciting. I want to share the ride.