Three Weeks Out

I had a great visit to the coast last week. Food was pretty much a non-issue. Jim and I usually carefully consider where we are going to eat. We like to make it seem special. This time I just wanted the peacefullness of being there before the onslaught of school hits. I brought my cooler with emergency food, but actually found good choices to eat most meals out. I can live with this change in my life - just need to make the choice.

I've already "retired" one pair of pants that I wore to work last year to only wear at home status. Three weeks, 20 pounds.

Back to Work (sort of)

Today made my two weeks surgeversary. I am feeling better every day. This week I got to add several new and exciting foods to my diet. Ground meat or turkey, some vegetables, peaches or pears, cheese. My very first meal on this new phase is a dish I've been making for over 20 years. I found it in a newspaper, but lightened it up.

Spinach Casserole
by Marilyn (My all-time favorite lunch for taking to work!)

1/2 c egg substitute
4 T flour
10 oz chopped spinach, frozen, thawed
1 1/2 c. (12 oz) low-fat cottage cheese
1 1/2 c reduced fat cheddar cheese. shredded


Preheat oven to 350.

Mix all ingredients well. Pour into 8 in square pan sprayed w/ Pam. Bake one hour. Makes 4 servings (or 12 if you just had WLS) LOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comfort food. I went to a training for school today. Hence the title. Back for real next week. My principal remarked how good my face looked. I thought it was looking much thinner myself! Very astute lady!

Slow it down

One of the biggest things that I have had to be mindful of this week with experimenting with solid foods is to eat sloowwly. It is very important to take small bites and chew, chew, chew. It can take you 1/2 hour to eat a couple of tablespoons of cottage cheese and 3 or 4 slices of banana. Which should make it really interesting when I go back to work in a week and a half and get a 35 minute lunch. Let's see - do I use the bathroom or check my mailbox? Oh, wait, at the start of first grade, half of your lunch is spent walking them all the way into the cafeteria, showing them how to carry their tray, dealing with the cryer who wants to go home (trust me, there's always at least one.) Then maybe having time to eat yourself. Whew, maybe I need to start eating while I'm walking my kids out.

Wow, and I was trying really hard to block that all out! Anyways, I learned the hard way when I ate a little bit of egg salad a little too fast. It felt like it was stuck and just was like a brick in my new tiny stomach - a very uncomfortable feeling. So - I am really taking this slow food thing seriously. The upside is that the slower you eat, the better things taste. You really notice how sweet and creamy those banana slices are. Cream of wheat is really good - very creamy, a little gritty. Yogurt has a sweet taste followed by that tangy aftertaste. Maybe adding a few new foods a week and eating them slowly will give me the gift of rediscovering how good some of them taste. What a gift!

With apologies to Kraft Foods

I never want to eat plain, sf jello again - but wait .... I don't have to! I went to my doctor today for my 1st week post-op visit and got some exciting new food choices. I'm officially on "soft foods" which includes such things as cottage cheese, yogurt, applesauce, banana, real soup (yahoo!!) such as split pea and lentil (for protein), cream of wheat - there just aren't enough meals in the week to honor them all. Especially when you are eating 1/4 to 1/3 cup at a meal. But amazingly - that's enough.

Other than tiring easily, you'd never know that I had major surgery a week ago. I feel great - my body is moving so much easier - my stiffness and arthritis seem to have taken a giant step back.

So - curious to know what I had for lunch? Cottage cheese and a few banana slices mushed up with a drizzle of sf Toriani coconut syrup. Wonderful!

There's always room for Jello

3 days post-op. Jello is just not my favorite food - I've gotta remind myself to eat. According to my nutritionist, it's extremely important to get three meals. When you are not particularly hungry, you kind of have to remind yourself that it is time for sf jello, vegetable broth and a sf popsicle (my lunch) Oh, well, I always wanted to be that girl who had to remind herself to eat!

I've been surfing the net and have found a few people who have worked on getting WLS meals that are appealing and fun. (after the clear liquid stage, of course!

Here is one of the best. She is 2 1/2 yrs out from surgery and is quite the cook. It is great to know that I can still enjoy food - after all, it has been a big part of my life!

I am feeling terrific. A little sore, but not in pain. I figured out how to get into a sleeping position that I could live with last night. Can't do pressure on my stomach, and I hate sleeping on my back. I discovered that a pillow against my abdomen helps a lot. I am walking on the treadmill every couple of hours - not burning it up, but moving. I'm getting there

A New Day

Yesterday was a loonng day! It seemed like a very long day from getting up at 5 till surgery at 10:00. Then -suddenly it was 2:00! Everything went really well. I am feeling better than I expected this morning. Walking is getting better each time I try. I'm looking forward to seeing what flavor jello is on my tray this morning (really wishing for red - last night was orange) I am so thankful that all went well and to have so many, many friends and family praying for me. Not much to report from the hospital - think I'll just go back to Facebook!

The Last Supper

OK, don't get all over me for being sacriligeous. Tomorrow (The Day Before Surgery) is all about liquids. I bought my broth, Crystal Light, SF Jello to prepare for The First Week. Not really sure how long it will be until Real Food is in my grocery cart again (in teeny tiny quantities) My surgeon tells you as much as you need to know at the time (it IS a little information overload at times) But this week and especially today is about eating food that I will miss until we meet again. Actually, I found that it is pretty healthy stuff. This morning I had my ceremonial Last Starbuck's Run. (Had a grande iced skinny vanilla latte and a LF apple bran muffin. Fresh peach and some grapes for lunch. Dinner tonight is grilled flank steak, fresh green beans (I've been craving fresh fruit and fresh veggies all week) and roasted new potatoes drizzled w olive oil and herbs. Maybe a ceremonial Last Glass of Red Wine. I was doing really good till I got to that - but it's heart healthy, right? We've had a good run, but I am so looking forward to this next part of my life.

Sleepless in Fresno

Tom Hanks would identify with me. I'm not so much nervous as feeling wired. It's as if the first day of school was looming (although that will be here soon too) Less than a week to all liquids - all the time. I start that a day before surgery to prep. Less than a week to eat what I want, when I want it. Interestingly, I have had few cravings, no urges to carb load. I told Jim I'd like to go out for breakfast - my favorite meal to eat out. Last week, I went to a support group run by my surgeon's office. They showed a video of an actual bypass surgery. I was actually really fascinated by seeing what will be happening to me. It made it a lot more understandable than reading about it (even Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies) All that's left is to go to some pre-ops and stock up on broth and Crystal Light. Five days and counting.

My Body, My Self

Isn't that the title of a book? Anyways, it all started in December. I came home from the seminar jazzed, ready to read, go online, get started with getting healthy. I had a fitful night's sleep, due (I thought) mostly because of an active brain and the 19th being the last day of school before vacation. I had a weird dull pain in my lower abdomen which worsened as the day wore on. I barely made it through an afternoon party when I realized that something was very wrong. After calling my doctor, my son took me to the ER and I spent the next four days in the hospital with diverticulitis. I spent the rest of December getting well. January, February came and went. I had a list of a battery of tests that I had to complete or get records from. Let's see if I remember them all. Yearly exam and blood work, PAP, mammogram, colonoscopy, upper endoscopy, stress test and echocardiogram, angiogram (when the stress results seemed questionable), psychological evaluation (I was beginning to doubt my sanity by this time myself), visits with the surgeon, nutritionist, more with the surgeon, counseling sessions (both pre and post-op) and - just for good measure, a bout with pneumonia in April. I have seen nine different medical professionals (just counting those I made appointments with)

The good news - I am, surprisingly, in pretty good shape for someone with as many health issues as I have. If I take good care of myself and lose this weight once and for all, I will probably have many healthy years ahead. What wonderful news!! I feel as if I was waiting for the other shoe to drop during this long process of getting approval. Now, full steam ahead!!

Year of Change

I got some exciting news today. I am scheduled for surgery on July 20. I have spent months getting tested, prodded, pricked and (finally) approved for gastric bypass surgery. I took my time. It is a huge decision. It is going to save my life.

When Rob and Katie got married in December 2007, I finally realized how much my out of control weight gain was controlling my life. The traveling was brutal. There were six of us traveling. When we missed a very tight connection in Las Vegas (of course I felt as if it were my fault) and I almost passed out gasping for breath I could feel my life changing. When it became almost routine to ask for the seatbelt extender, I felt like I didn't know who this person was. The last two years at school have been a blur. I had a couple of my best years of teaching, but they took everyting I had and then some. I have ended each day sitting at my table in the classroom in the dark - trying to find the energy to walk out to the car. I have been overwhelmed by life.

One of my teacher friends started looking into Weight Loss Surgery and I started asking questions. On December 18 2008 I went to a seminar to get some information. What started out as a "do it with my buddy" thing has truned into a solo effort. My friend is a woman of deep faith. She was hitting some roadblocks in the process, and after much prayer decided that God was probably telling her that this was not the right time for this. I'm pretty sure that God was providing me with a companion to hold my hand and give me the strength to find my way without fear to better health. So far, the road has been a little bumpy, but exciting. I want to share the ride.

My Talisman

Talisman: 1. a stone, ring, or other object engraved with figures or characters supposed to possess occult powers and worn as an amulet or charm. 2. anything whose presence excercises a remarkable or powerful influence on human feelings or actions.

The bracelet in the pictureon this page is my talisman. It is a Danish bracelet called Trollbeads, which gets its inspiration from nature, flora and fauna, mythology and fable. I bought it for myself a few months ago - just because I loved the idea. I do subscribe to the theory of treating myself well. I have worn it pretty near daily since. One day, I looked at it and realized that I could imbue the beads with meaning if I chose. The central one is called Three Siblings - a natural for a mother of three sons whose lives are intertwined so closely with mine. The end one is an initial J - obvious also for the love of my life, Jim. The ending one is hearts - for myself and all the love that I possess in my life and how lucky I am to have it. And the two colored ones for my two girls - pretty, lovely gems that I have received.

Now when I put it on each morning I have a tangible reminder of why it is so important to take good care of my body and soul - I have so many things to live for!! :)

Weight Watchers January (revisited)

OK - so there is a reason that my mailbox always has a mailer from Weight Watchers during the "free registration January" period? Do they keep track of how many times I have joined? It seems as if I (along with quite a few others evidenced by the SRO at my meeting this week) start every new year with the hopes that this year will be the one.

However, I am going with a different attitude this time out. I am not concentrating at all on the numbers on the scale or the jeans size, but on the way my body feels. My kid's wedding was a delight in all ways except on the toll that traveling, airports and walking have on this 57 year old person. Soooooo - this is not my year of losing weight - this is my year to get healthy. I have a feeling that it is the biggest present that I could give to anyone who loves me in tbhis new year! Wish me well! Cause I'm sure wishing it for myself.

We are Family

It has been a while since I have come here - but I have to celebrate. I now have 5 (count 'em) kids! And the latest addition is a doctor!

My oldest, Rob, got married on December 30 to Katie. Rob is a Lt. in the Navy, but is a lover, not a fighter. He is bright, funny, well read - and has been looking for his true love for a long time. But it took a while to find the perfect match. All you have to do is see the look that they give each other - they both just glow in each other's presence. I pray for them that it will always be such. My marriage was a nice one (for the most part), but we were never in love the way I see it in their faces. My Jim, who makes me smile every day we are together, is the guy that fate meant me to meet. But I'm sure that it was the 60 year old Jim, not the 25 year old Jim that was meant to be the love of my life. But, you know when you find it. Hooray for love!!

Lucy and Ethel

The pretty girl to my left in the photo is my friend Susan. We met in 1962 at Greenfield Junior High School in Pittsburgh. Susan only attended public school that one year - she had just moved back to the neighborhood and the class at St. Rosalia's was just too big in eighth grade that particular year. Susan lived just up a steep hill above me (everything in Greenfield was up a steep hill.) We became best friends that year - right down to having a crush on the same boy - Billy Sopira. We crept past his house every time we went for a walk - just on the chance we might spy him through the window. Luckily - he barely knew we existed so it wasn't a threat to our friendship. Even when Susan went to St. R's for high school the next year we remained tighter than tight - we spent most Friday nights at her house or mine, watching I Spy or trying to learn the latest dance steps. Going to college didn't break the bond - of course we both applied to Clarion and roomed together. I spent more nights talking to Susan in the dark than I ever have with a man (the key word being talking!)

I married right after graduation in 1972- Susan loved me enough to serve as my maid of honor in a blue gingham dress with a dotted swiss apron and a ring of daisies in her hair- very early 70's. I asked her to be my firstborn's godmother. Even when we lived "close" we had at least an hour drive. She listened patiently when I needed to vent about the many complaints of a shaky marriage - I did the same about the lamer guys she dated over the years. When I moved to California in 1989, Susan and I had the funniest Lucy and Ethel visits of all. Getting lost in San Francisco (more than once), lying in a hotel room debating the merits of Hershey's milk chocolate versus Nestle's, taping my window of my van with duct tape in the 100+ heat and having to fix it at every stop light, losing the car in Carmel - we have done it all.



Susan got married for the first time at the age of 46 - and he was worth waiting for. I, on the other hand had a 30 year marriage fall apart shortly after. I started listening to marriage stories - she to dating ones. Whenever anything significant has happened in my life - from losing my virginity, getting pregnant (not at the same time!), my husband leaving me, meeting Jim, -Susan is the first one to know. We have laughed more than we have cried together over the years. I am happy that she has Glenn - he knows just how special she is. I ache being so far apart from my friend some days, as we both get older and have significant health issues - she has been the constant in my life for so many years. I wish she really did live next door - or even up that steep hill again. But I am so grateful to have had her in my life for so many years. She will always be there for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being my friend.

Sunday, Sweet Sunday

Sometimes I think I could be the best teacher in the world if I didn't actually have to show up every day at work, but just had more time to plan and get organized to the max. Just like I could get this homeowner/yard maven/chef thing down pat if I wasn't always so exhausted all the time from work! It's when it all falls together that it all starts to fall apart. Did I cope with more on my plate better when I was younger? Or did I just not know any better and thought I did? At any rate, I am obsessing about school, working on year-long poetry notebooks that I have wanted to do for years. I am also going through my recipes whenever I sit down to watch TV or veg, because I know that when school starts, I will eat crap if I haven't already made the plans and bought the food to treat myself better. I am hyperorganizing (is that even a word?) like crazy because I am always worried that maybe this time I won't be able to pull it off - to do it all. Has life gotten harder, my abilities to multitask diminished, or are my expectations just too high for my 56 year old self? All I know is that I need to feel as if I am doing the best that I can at everything I care about, but it surely takes more effort!